Making Your Home a Sanctuary of Self-Love

February 21, 2025

Keeping with my February theme of love, I am dedicating this post to feeling love for yourself at home. Your home is where you should be able to feel safe, accepted, and cherished. I know that can be a loaded statement, especially for people who have challenging relationships. However, the more often you treat yourself with love and care, the more you reinforce your own worth- making it easier to make better choices about who to surround yourself with. In this post, I’ve compiled a list of things you can do to create a home where you help yourself feel loved, cherished, and adored.

Discard or isolate negative physical reminders, such as photos, letters, or memorabilia from people, places, or events. If you’re not ready to let them go just yet, isolate these memories into one area. Don’t leave them scattered all over your house. Declutter anything else that is holding you back energetically. Clear out any stale energy. Clutter can manifest itself as reminders that you’re not enough and haven’t done enough, such as too many unfinished projects or a to-do list that is way too long. An over-abundance of makeup or beauty products may even subconsciously signal a feeling of “not-enough-ness”. If there’s something that you truly need to keep, but it’s weighing you down, see if you can reframe the item in a way that brings you a sense of peace or gratitude.
Create a welcoming environment. Your physical space influences your emotional well-being. Use artwork and imagery that makes you feel loved, cherished, and adored. Create a place for yourself to put your keys, your bag, and your jacket- just as a loved one may help you get settled when you visit their home. Have a place for yourself to sit to easily put your shoes on and off. These are simple loving gestures you can make to take care of your sweet self.
Keep your space clean to set a tone of care and respect for yourself. If cleaning is a new habit you’re working on developing, pick one or two basics to master, then gradually add on more tasks once you are consistent with the basics. Putting trash in the trash can and taking it out on a regular basis may be where you need to start. Once you get that down, move on to keeping up with the dishes, then laundry. If needed, hire a cleaning person to help you get things under control. Cleaning isn’t something everyone loves to do, so if it’s really not your thing, hire it out. Having a clean house will pay for itself in the currency of your self-worth.
Create a cozy spot for yourself to soothe your nervous system rather than just vegging out and escaping. Maybe you enhance your bathroom so your bathtub is luxurious retreat. Or you set up a heating pad and weighted blanket on the couch, where you can curl up and read a good book. Sure, scrolling on your phone and watching TV has it’s place, but giving yourself breaks from screen time will significantly help reset and restore your energy.
Make a place to stretch and be kind to your body. If you’re anything like me and many of my clients, you probably have plenty of therapeutic devices at home such as a foam roller, a red light, a foot massager, a neck alignment cushion, a gua sha tool, or whatever else has recently been advertised on Instagram. Instead of letting these tools collect dust, set up a dedicated spot where you can easily access and use them. By prioritizing this type of self-care, you are sending subtle messages to yourself that you are willing to invest the time to love and care for your body and emotional and mental well-being.
Break the burn-out. Instead of the monotony of going to work, having a couple cocktails, staying up late, waking up cranky, loading up on caffeine and sugar, and mindlessly going through the motions day after day, give your body a break. Set boundaries for yourself. Self-love isn’t always just about bubble baths and massages. Engage your healthy inner parent to help you clean up your diet and sleep schedule so that you can have the inner resources to direct the trajectory of your life. Purge temptations from your home that steer you away from your goals.
Spend quality time with yourself. Do things that connect you with your inner joy. Follow your passions, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. Make space in your home to engage with the activities that feel most meaningful to you.
Watch the self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself thinking thoughts that are detrimental to your self-esteem, interrupt the thought. If you let yourself get stuck in a cycle of rumination, the longer you let yourself do that, the harder it is to break the habit. Even just simply asking yourself “what if?” and pair it with a mental reset. For example, smiling, thinking of your favorite color or animal, bringing up a good memory, or imagining a scent that you love, or whatever other healthy distraction you choose. This will re-train your brain to have more loving or creative thoughts. Eventually if you can add “what if [everything works out just fine]” (or something else that makes you feel uplifted), you will have a significant positive impact on your self-esteem. This doesn’t mean to be naïve and ignore real concerns, but most anxious or negative thoughts are just bad habits. If you experience re-occurring ruminations or worries, it will be necessary to devote some time to explore those emotions or problem solve. But the point is to learn to manage your emotions in a healthy way so they don’t run your life. In many ways, your thoughts create your reality, so choose ones that support your well-being. Display visual reminders in your home to remind you of how you want to shape your thoughts.
Bring in laughter. What makes you laugh? A funny audiobook? Comedy movies? Singing out loud to your favorite song? Dancing in the mirror? Laughter is the best medicine, and can make you feel really joyful. This is a great way to create a happy atmosphere where you feel love for yourself.
Celebrate yourself! Buy flowers for yourself, get balloons, or indulge in a special treat once in a while. Take yourself to get your nails done, to get a massage, acupuncture, or whatever else makes you feel pampered and appreciated. Even just write yourself a “good job” note once in a while, or give yourself a hug. Keep these gifts for yourself fresh and meaningful.

Feeling loved at home comes from consistent, intentional actions where you treat yourself and your home with appreciation. As you actively nurture yourself and your home in a heart-centered way, you will have an easier time navigating relationships in the outside world. You will find that you won’t take things so personally. You will be able to recognize the types of people you want in your life. Emotionally healthy people will gravitate to you, and you’ll naturally set stronger boundaries with people who don’t align with your well-being. Creating a home filled with love will reinforce your self-worth and self-confidence.

How do you make yourself feel more loved at home?